Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My life is pants optional.
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