We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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