I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize