are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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