Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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