During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
