4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
This house was built for laser tag.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
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