Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
