you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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