are you so shy because you have an std?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i think my cat just said my name.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
