We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if only i could text you this smell
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There's always time for handjobs
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
