i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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