Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
