i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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