Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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