Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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