Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
