Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
