quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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