I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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