we're chasing vodka with high fives
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
