end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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