I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize