i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think I sprained my soul last night
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dick very happy bro
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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