Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
