What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You have to summon your inner elephant
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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