Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
