I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
