yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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