On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
