he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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