She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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