I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
