he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
