You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
