I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize