I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
