So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
