I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
