Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i will never coherently bang her
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
