I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
