I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
