well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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