i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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