Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
