weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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