So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
