Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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