of course. lets lasso hookers.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize