these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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