It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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