you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
