and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
