The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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