I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Operation Purity has been aborted
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My bed smells like the plague
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
