Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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