It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I need to calm my uterus...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
