party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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