I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
