If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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