i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize