i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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