so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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