I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
